Unwanted Gift

The wife bought me a computer, all cables and fancy keys,

With a TFT, a Pentium 4 and some wossname DVDs.

When I finally found the ON switch, at the back, out the way,

I watched in awe and listened to the whirring CD... JK?

Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to log on. What silly language is that?

I’d have more chance mud wrestling the next door neighbour’s cat.

Press START, All Programs, click Office then Word.

Oops, hang on... an Access Violation’s occurred.

There, that’s better, I can type to my heart’s content...

Wait a minute... not sure where that last paragraph went.

Now a box has popped up and I can hear a ding-ding-ding.

ALT-TAB out be Christ. Chance would be a fine thing!

“You have caused an error,” it said, “Windows is shutting down.”

I could hear the innards sighing, the monitor gave a frown.

I kicked the box which squealed aloud and made the speakers wince.

Hope my letter’s alright in there, I’ve not seen the damn thing since.

So you can have it if you want, this perplexing Packard Bell.

As far as I’m concerned? They can all go straight to hell.